|Season 3, Episode 12|
|Air date||September 25, 2012|
Show Choir Showdown
Freaky Monday is the twelfth episode of Season Three of Glee: The Next Generation and the fifty-sixth episode overall.
When New Directions has a hard time understanding each other and the issues they face in their everyday lives, Mr. Schue and Sue decide Glee Club needs to walk a mile in each others' shoes. So, they decide that each member of New Directions should swap places with someone else and spend the week as them. Meanwhile, Lana has fun switching places with Taylor, but can Taylor and Lana's combined efforts put Lynsay in her place?
- As A Blonde by Selena Gomez. Sung by Lana Addison
- Crazy by Simple Plan. Sung by Nicole Martin
- Man Down by Rihanna. Sung by Aldy Williams
- Naked Love by Adam Lambert. Sung by Miles Larson
- Who I Am Hates Who I've Been by Reliant K. Sung by Taylor Atkinson
- Unpretty by TLC. Sung by New Directions
- How Does It Feel? by Avril Lavigne. Sung by Jaxon Pierce and Kevin Rhodes
Glee: The Next Generation Season 3, Episode #12: "Freaky Monday"
So here’s what you missed on Glee: The Next Generation:
A lot of members of New Directions have been having it hard recently. Lana’s having parent issues, Jaxon lost his dad, Miles had stepfather issues and made the tough decision to surgically fix his scar, Evan faced racism with a violent and ruthless club named The Legacy, Adam’s a cutter, and Nicole is keeping a secret about how Dillon hits her. New Directions could really use a dose of fun, especially with Sectionals right around the corner. But the one thing about New Directions that they have always managed to come together when times were tough and act as a team. Maybe that’s what New Directions needs—or maybe some of Sue’s tough love—if they expect to overcome and win at Sectionals when the time comes. Then, there’s the issue with Lana’s obsessive cousin, Lynsay, who has weaseled her way into Lana’s life and is stealing her friends. They just can’t catch a break, can they?
And that’s what you missed on Glee!
As everyone piled into the choir room for Glee Club, Aldy threw his backpack to the floor and watched as it slid into place under his usual chair. From a couple chairs over, Evan rolled his eyes.
“Good afternoon,” Will said, smiling as he walked into the choir room, Sue following closely behind. “Are you guys ready to have some fun this week? I realize that the past few weeks have either light on fun due to our play or a bit depressing—”
“It’s been a straight up bummer,” Aldy said. “I’m so tired of hearing people whine about how they want surgery because they feel ugly, or how they hate their parents because they lie to them, or how they got beat up because they’re white. Give me a break.”
“That’s offensive,” Evan said. “I may look white, but I’m part black and besides, the Legacy was making my life a living hell. You have no idea what I went through.”
“All I know is that my life is no cakewalk either,” Aldy said. “My dad is an alcoholic who is either at work or passed out face down on the sofa. I care for my family, I live in a criminal hotbed, I got my friend stabbed, and I went to rehab. Do you see me whining every day in Glee Club?”
“Everyone handles the hand that life hands them differently,” Lana said. “It’s not fair to make conclusions like that. Everyone deals differently.”
“I just know that I’m tired of you guys all bitching and whining about your crappy lives,” Aldy said. “I wanna have some fun in Glee Cub for once. Rock out, you know?”
“Aldy has a point,” Will said. Aldy smiled. “But, Lana also has a point. You guys are having trouble seeing eye-to-eye because you haven’t had to put yourselves in each other’s place. The lack of understanding here is holding you guys back from your full potential. Next week is Sectionals and we need to be able to work together as one team, united. But your lack of empathy is keeping you guys from coming together.”
Aldy’s smile faded.
“What are you suggesting?’ Hallie asked.
“This actually reminds me of something that happened during Honey’s own sister’s senior year,” Will said. “Tina Cohen-Chang, who as you know was a former student of mine, was buying fabric to make our Nationals outfits and she took a tumble into a fountain and blacked out. While blacked out, she claimed to have a dream where everyone had swapped places and personalities. What ensued was that she and Rachel Berry gained a newfound understanding and respect for one another.”
“So, you’re saying that we should knock ourselves unconscious?” Kevin asked.
Miles started to reach toward Kevin, ready to slap him in the back of the head, but stopped himself. “Actually, I’m with Kevin on this one. It sounds like you want us to knock ourselves out.”
“I fully support the idea,” Sue said with a yawn.
Will rolled his eyes. “The big picture here, guys. You need to swap places which each other and take a walk in each other’s shoes to gain that understanding and respect.”
“Oh,” Kevin said. “So it’s like Freaky Friday then. But it’s not Friday, it’s Monday. So it’d be Freaky Monday, right? At least I think it’s Monday. Let me consult my calendar.”
Everyone looked at Kevin, shaking their heads.
“Well, yeah, pretty much,” Will said. “I mean, at least that is the general idea of the lesson. You’ll swap places with each other for the week during school hours. You’re to dress like the person who swap with, act like them, and sing songs that they would sing. For example, if Rose and Nicole were to switch, Rose would attend Brainiacs Club and Nicole would wear a Cheerios uniform and high pony—”
“Can we talk about this first?” Sue asked.
“Yep,” Kevin said, returning his iPhone to his pocket. “Today is Monday.”
Miles’ hand connected with the back of Kevin’s head hard. Evan stifled a laugh.
“Alright,” Will said. “Let’s get the swaps figured out. They’re effective immediately, so I want to see you guys paired off in the respective cliques of the people you swap with starting today. Tomorrow, the second phase begins and you will start dressing like them and taking up their extra-curricular activities. Got it?”
“This idea is lame,” Claude said.
“I second that,” Lucas added.
“I think it’s a great idea,” Bella said. “Mr. Schue is right, we need to better understand one other to be the best team we can be.”
“Suck up,” Aldy said with a chuckle.
“Tell me,” Taylor said. “What else does Confucius say? China Kingdom left out my fortune cookie last night so I feel I pretty much deserve a freebie.”
Bella narrowed her eyes. “My point has been reinforced.”
“Okay,” Will said. “You will see that there are two top hats with half of your names in it on top of the piano. The one one the left is for the boys. The one on the left is for the girls. Those whose names are not in the hat will line up. They will then come up, draw a name out of the hat, and take the seat of the person they have become, and they will take your seat. Questions?”
No one said anything. Will looked at Sue and smiled.
“I can’t wait to see the sheer catastrophe this assignment will cause,” Sue said.
“If I call your name, line up,” Will said. “Jaxon, James, Adam, Lana, Hallie, Bella, and Honey.”
The group who’s name had been called lined up as the rest stayed in their seats.
“Now, I don’t want any cross-gender swaps,” Will said. “I wouldn’t force that on you guys. So, Natasha and Claude, as our newest members, you won’t have to swap and can do this assignment as yourselves.”
“I was kind of looking forward to swapping,” Claude said. “Could I maybe swap places with Chuck?”
“Yeah,” Lana and Honey said in unison.
“We’d love to have Chuck in New Directions,” Honey said.
Will smiled. “I will talk to someone at Dalton and see what I can do. How’s that?”
“Perfect,” Jaxon said.
“Alright,” Will said. “Step up and draw a name from the hats and let’s see who you’re gonna spend the week as.”
Jaxon drew Miles, James drew Kevin, Adam drew Lucas, Aldy drew Evan, Lana drew Taylor, Hallie drew Rose, Bella drew Nicole, and Honey drew Ana. As everyone went to their respective seats, Will took a look around at the new “couples” and cliques that had been formed as a result.
“This is pretty weird,” Hallie said as she looked beside her at James.
“Actually it worked out good for us,” Lana said as she smiled at Jaxon. “But still, I have to be Taylor. Might as well shoot me.”
“Look at the bright side,” Miles said from beside Jaxon. “Here’s an opportunity to have some fun.”
Lana smiled to herself. “Fun, huh? I might can get used to this.”
Lana walked through the mall, channeling her best Taylor impression. She walked as if she expected the crowds to part for her and all the guys to stop and stare.
Ugh, that was an awkward thought, Lana thought.
Lana saw the crowd in front of her. Now was her chance to test her newfound Taylor attitude. She marched straight for them, expecting them to part and let her pass. SMACK! She walked right into a guy and girl and was knocked backwards, landing on her butt. The girl rolled her eyes and keep on walking.
“Are you okay?” the guy asked, extending his hand to Lana. Lana took it and he helped her to her feet.
“Of course,” Lana said. “Just uh, walking through the mall and doing some shopping.”
The guy laughed. “Maybe you should try watching where you walk, huh?”
Lana nodded. “Yeah, I’ll get right on that.”
The guy smiled. “I’m Richie.”
“La—Taylor,” Lana said, quickly changing it. “I’m Taylor.”
“Nice to meet you, Taylor,” Richie said. “Do you wanna grab a smoothie at Smoothie Shack? My treat.”
Lana thought for a second. Someone treating her? She was used to footing the bill, out of generosity of course, not that she expected people to pay her way. That’s just how she was. However, Taylor would want all the boys dropping bills on her, and besides, not being the one paying for once would be nice.
“Let’s go,” Lana said.
Richie smiled, putting his arm around Lana, who smiled awkwardly.
Lana stared at her chocolate banana strawberry smoothie, awkwardly stirring it. From across the table, Richie looked at her.
“Are you okay?” Richie asked.
Lana nodded. “Yeah, I just have this little issue. I just found out I have a cousin and she moved to Lima and she’s attending my school and stealing all my friends.”
“So that’s why a cute girl like you is here by herself?” Richie asked.
I can’t tell him about Hallie, Lana thought. It’s bad enough I’m practically using the guy. But I have to get in Taylor’s head. I’m a method actress; it’s what I do.
“Yeah,” Lana said. “That’s why.”
Richie put his hand on top of Lana’s. “I had a really nice time, but I have to go. I’ll hopefully see you later, okay?”
Lana nodded. “Okay, then. Later, Richie.”
Richie flashed his smile, exposing the whitest teeth Lana had ever seen. She finished off her smoothie and stood up. Lana looked down at her napkin and saw that she had failed to notice that Richie had written his phone number on a napkin. Not really thinking, she absentmindedly shoved it into her jacket pocket and walked out the door.
Finally, I know what I gotta do, Lana thought as she stopped to look at her reflection in the mirror. I need to be a blonde. Look blonde, think blonde, be blonde.
Lana ran her fingers through her hair.
“Let’s do this,” she said as she started toward the salon.
Evan didn’t seem comfortable as he sat next to Miles on the sofa. Miles had dozed off, snoring slightly as Evan made a half-hearted attempt to be into the wrestling that was on the TV. It wasn’t easy, but Miles might wake up at any moment and he was trying his hardest to be hospitable.
Evan pulled his legs onto the sofa and his hand brushed Miles’s knee. A surge of electricity seemed to surge through Evan, starting at his hand. He remembered the fantasies that had been going through his mind and tried to push them aside.
Flashes of images cycled through his mind: him kissing Miles, their hands intertwined. The images and thoughts were endless. Evan finally gave up, knowing that as long as Miles was so close to him, they’d never be driven out of his mind. He stood up and ran upstairs, shutting his bedroom door behind him.
The only thing that stopped the borderline madness in his head was his Glee Club assignment: putting himself in Aldy’s shoes. Evan breathed a sigh of relief as the images in his head had finally stopped again.
Lana stood on the escalator, waiting for it to reach the floor, smiling from ear to ear as she sported a wavy blonde hairstyle.
“I was looking in the mirror, trying to find a new reflection,” Lana sang as she stepped off the escalator and walked toward the sunglasses kiosk. “Wanna take the road less traveled, in a different direction. Make some new mistakes, forget the ones I've made. Cry some tears of joy, dress more like a boy.”
Lana took a pair of Chanel sunglasses and put the on. Without thinking, she handed the clerk her credit card.
“And come back as a blonde. Try a different lipstick on. As a blonde, will I get whatever I want? I’ll be ever so enticing, take a lot of icing, never have to watch my weight. Yeah, when I'm gone, I'm gonna come back as a blonde.”
Lana took her credit card back with a smile and walked into the Merle Norman store across from her.
“I wanna meet myself as someone else just to see what it feels like,” Lana sang as she perused the aisles. “Take a walk on the other side ‘cause you know that I just might break some different hearts, finish what I start. I'm not gonna wait to mess around with fate.”
Lana took a tube of cherry red lipstick and applied it to her lips.
“And come back as a blonde, try a different lipstick on. As a blonde will I get whatever I want? I’ll be ever so enticing, take a lot of icing, tever have to watch my weight. Yeah, when I'm gone, I'm gonna come back as a blonde.”
Lana threw the lipstick and several hundred dollars’ worth of make-up on the counter. The man looked down at the pile of make-up, then back up at Lana, who slid him her credit card.
“American Express,” Lana said.
The man nodded as he began to ring her up.
“I'm tainted, I'm tired Of being the same, yeah. I'm desperate, I’m bored, I'm begging for change. What if you’re normal and wanna be strange?”
The scene faded into Lana walking the halls of McKinley the next day, dressed as Taylor. All the crowds parted and all the boys stopped and stared at her, just like she had imagined. The girls all gave her jealous glares, including Lynsay.
“Blonde, try a different lipstick on. As a blonde will I get whatever I want? I'll be ever so enticing, take a lot of icing, never have to watch my weight, Yeah, when I'm gone, I'm gonna come back as a blonde. Wave my magic wand. As a blonde, will I get whatever I want? I’ll be ever so enticing, down a lot of ice cream, never even wipe my face. Yeah, when I’m gone, I’m gonna come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back, come back as a blonde.”
Jaxon, Evan, Hallie, Miles, and James stood at the end of the hall, looking at Lana.
“Oh my god,” Hallie said. “Lana?”
“It has to be,” Evan said. “She’s not tall enough to be Taylor.”
“We’ve officially entered the twilight zone,” James said. Jaxon nodded.
“Damn, she is looking hot,” Miles said.
Hallie hauled off and hit Miles in the shoulder as hard as she could. Miles rubbed his shoulder, surprised.
“Ow!” Miles said. “That hurt.”
“Good,” Hallie said as she turned around and started toward the choir room.
That day, the choir room looked completely different. Everyone was dressed up as the person they had swapped with, but of course no transformation was as drastic as Lana’s. Claude had been replaced with Chuck due to Dalton’s dean approving the swap between Claude and Chuck.
“Wow,” Will said, looking around the room. “That’s all I can say.”
Nicole smoothed out the wrinkles in her Cheerios’ uniform. “I feel awkward.”
Honey and Hallie both looked down at their Cheerios’ uniforms.
“Agreed,” Honey said. “I never pictured myself as a Cheerio.”
“And here I am, back in the uniform,” Hallie said, running her hair through her red wig.
From behind them, Kevin nodded. “This is weird. Since I’m gay now, I made out with some random guy in the hallway.’
“You cheated on me?” Miles and Rose said in unison.
“Um,” Hallie said. “You’re Hallie, remember? I’m Rose. But I’ll let it slide because Kevin obviously meant no harm. He’s Kevin.”
“Totally,” Kevin said. “But I thought I was James.”
“You are,” Rose said. “So I am sure Rose would forgive you.”
“I’m confused,” Kevin said. “About more than just who I am. The kiss wasn’t that bad. His girlfriend looked a little angry though. But I like girls a lot, so I guess I’m still straight.”
“You’re gay, remember?” James asked. “And happily engaged to Jaxon.”
“That’s me,” Miles said. “But I swear to God if you kiss me—”
Will shook his head in disbelief. “When I suggested that you guys swap places, this isn’t exactly what I had in mind.”
“Another Will Schuester lesson gone completely and horribly wrong,” Sue said from behind Will. Will rolled his eyes.
Nicole raised her hand.
“Yes, Bella,” Will said, pointing to Nicole.
“I thought it would be a great opportunity to sing my song for this week. While I feel that this lesson is totally crazy, I think we should embrace it. You know, get a little crazy ourselves.”
“Perfect,” Will said. “I love how you’re embracing the lesson, Bella. Almost with Nicole’s brand of wide-eyed eagerness to embrace the lesson.”
“Suck up,” Bella said from behind Nicole.
Nicole turned around. “Nerd.”
“Ooh,” James said, leaning back in his chair.
Nicole walked to the front of the choir room and looked at the band.
“Could you guys play ‘Crazy’ by Simple Plan?”
The band nodded enthusiastically as they began to play. Will and Sue walked over and took their seats as Nicole prepared her song.
“Tell me what's wrong with society when everywhere I look, I see young girls dying to be on TV,” Nicole sang. “They won't stop till they've reached their dreams. Diet pills, surgery, photo-shopped pictures in magazines telling them how they should be. It doesn't make sense to me. Is everybody going crazy? Is anybody gonna save me? Can anybody tell me what's going on? Tell me what's going on? If you open your eyes, you'll see that something is wrong.”
Nicole took the microphone off the stand as she began to really get into the song.
“I guess things are not how they used to be. There's no more normal families. Parents act like enemies, making kids feel like it's World War III. No one cares, no one's there. I guess we're all just too damn busy and money's our first priority. It doesn't make sense to me. Is everybody going crazy? Is anybody gonna save me?Can anybody tell me what's going on? Tell me what's going on? If you open your eyes, you'll see that something is wrong.” Adam watched Nicole, wrapped up in her performance. Even when she was being someone else, she was about making a statement and taking a stand.
“Is everybody going crazy? Is everybody going crazy? Tell me what's wrong with society when everywhere I look I see rich guys driving big SUVs, while kids are starving in the streets. No one cares, no one likes to share. I guess life's unfair. Is everybody going crazy? Is anybody gonna save me? Can anybody tell me what's going on? Tell me what's going on? If you open your eyes, you'll see that something, something is wrong. Is everybody going crazy? Can anybody tell me what's going on? Tell me what's going on? If you open your eyes, you'll see that something is wrong.”
Will stood up and applauded. “Thank you, Bella. That was great. Everyone give Bella a big round of applause.”
Lana walked down the hall in full-on Taylor mode, her hands on her hips, her nose in the air, and walking like she was gliding on air.
“Excuse me,” Lana said. “Pardon me. Part the sea. Move it!”
Lana stopped walking when she saw Lynsay standing in her way.
“Outta my way,” Lana said.
“Tell me,” Lynsay said. “What’s going on? Why the sudden makeover? Why are you walking around like you own the school?’
“None of your business,” Lana said.
“Are you trying to one up me?” Lynsay said. “Because I think that’s what this is about.”
“Nope,” Lana said. “That’s your department. I wouldn’t wanna put you out of a job.”
“Face it,” Lynsay said. “You’re jealous because all of your friends are taking quite a shine to me and now you have to compete for attention.”
“There’s not much to compete with,” Lana said. “I’d bury you.”
“You think a blonde wig, some Chanel shades, Jimmy Choo’s, and a Gucci dress is gonna accomplish that?” Lynsay asked.
“It's not a wig. Besides, it doesn’t take all this to beat you, Lynsay,” Lana said. “Because they’re gonna see you for the little weasel you are. Now scram.”
Lynsay shook her head as she turned around and walked off.
“This is far from over,” Lynsay said as she walked down the hall.
Taylor Atkinson stood back in the hallway, wearing a black wig, a hoodie, a pair of jeans, and just to add insult to injury: Doc Martins, the stereotypical shoe of lesbians everywhere.
Who does that Lana Addison think she is? She’s actually acting like she rules the school now. Ugh, I can’t stand her. But, you know, two can play this game.
Taylor marched across the hall, shoving anyone that got in her way.
“Beat it, punk!” She yelled at some freshman, who cowered in fear.
Lana turned around and watched Taylor.
“What the hell does she think she’s doing?” Lana asked herself.
“Go on and tell Figgins!” Taylor shouted. “My name is Lana Addison!”
Lana marched over and grabbed Taylor’s arm, turning her to face her.
“What is your problem?” Lana asked.
“Giving you a taste of your medicine,” Taylor said. “You’re trashing my reputation with your mockery of me.”
Lana thought for a second, a plan forming in her mind. “Maybe we can work something out.”
“Let’s hear it,” Taylor said. “And let go of my arm.”
Lana dropped Taylor’s arm. “Sorry. Anyway, my cousin Lynsay is driving me batty. She’s trying to steal all my friends. So, since we’re swapped I figured maybe I could plan a cousin’s day out and you could show up in my place. Then you can be your normal Taylor self and make her think twice about trying to weasel her way into my friends.”
“I don’t do favors,” Taylor said. “What’s in it for me?”
“When I’m done with this Glee Club lesson, all the clothes, accessories, and make-up I bought—it’s yours. It’s like worth a grand. Of course, my mom doesn’t know yet, but how much worse can my home life get? You can have it all. Deal?”
Taylor smiled. “Deal. But I want some collateral. That lipstick you’re wearing, fork it over.”
“That’s thirty-two dollar lipstick,” Lana said.
“I think that I’m being cheap,” Taylor said. “Considering how that’s all I’m expecting as collateral.”
Lana sighed as she fished around in her purse. “Fine.”
Lana thrust the lipstick into Taylor’s palm. Taylor closed her hand, griping the lipstick.
“Rogue Pur Opium Red 131 by Yves St. Laurent,” Taylor said. “Next time, you should look online. I can get this stuff for twelve bucks.”
Taylor threw the tube of lipstick in the air, caught it, and took the lid off. She applied it, smacked her lips and winked at Lana.
“Why don’t you hunt down that little weasel and set up this cousins’ day out?” Taylor asked. “I’ll crush her.”
Aldy frantically searched through his music collection. Whitesnake, Guns N’ Roses, Saliva, Slipknot, Metallica, Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Green Day, Tool, Good Charlotte, Avenged Sevenfold…there was nothing here that seemed like an artist Evan would perform. His tastes were preferably R&B and female artists. And Aldy had very publically stated his disdain for R&B during country music week.
Aldy opened up Google and typed female R&B artist into the search box. He clicked search and was drawn to the seventh search result. Beyonce and Rihanna. Now, he couldn’t see himself doing some Beyonce as a solo, but at least Rihanna had an edge. That, he could get into.
Aldy sighed as he opened his iTunes and typed in Rihanna. He searched through the list until he saw one that caught his eye. He clicked it and began to listen. A calypso style beat and police sirens used in the arrangement? He had to admit that he found himself digging it so far. When he got to the chorus, he knew this was the song for him.
“Rihanna has a song about shooting someone?” Aldy asked himself. “That’s hardcore. I think I found my Evan solo.”
Aldy stood onstage in the April Rhodes Civic Pavilion, gripping the microphone stand. Behind him, the lights came on.The curtains opened and he looked out at New Directions, sitting in the audience as the music began.
“I didn't mean to end his life,” Aldy sang. “I know it wasn't right. I can't even sleep at night. can't get it off my mind. I need to get out of sight before I end up behind bars. What started out as a simple altercation turned into a real sticky situation. Me just thinking on the time that I'm facing makes me wanna cry. ‘Cause I didn't mean to hurt him, could've been somebody's son. And I took his heart when I pulled out that gun.”
Aldy leaned the microphone stand forward.
“Rum bum bum bum, rum bum bum bum, rum bum bum bum, man down. Rum bum bum bum, rum bum bum bum, rum bum bum bum, man down. Oh mama, mama, mama, I just shot a man down. In central station, in front of a big ole crowd. Oh, why? Oh, why? Oh mama, mama, mama, I just shot a man down. In central station.”
Aldy took the microphone off the stand and walked to the front of the stage.
“It's a twenty-two, I call her Peggy Sue. When she fits right down in my shoes, what do you expect me to do? If you're playing me for a fool, I will lose my cool and reach for my fire arm. I didn't mean to lay him down but it's too late to turn back now. Don't know what I was thinking. Now he's no longer living, so I'm ‘bout to leave town. ‘Cause I didn't mean to hurt him, could've been somebody's son. And I took his heart when I pulled out that gun. Rum bum bum bum, rum bum bum bum, rum bum bum bum, man down. Rum bum bum bum, rum bum bum bum, rum bum bum bum, man down. Oh mama, mama, mama, I just shot a man down. In central station, in front of a big ole crowd. Oh, why? Oh, why? Oh mama, mama, mama, I just shot a man down. In central station.”
Aldy kicked over the microphone stand as he walked to the back of the stage where the screen was. Images of a gun going off in darkness flashed. Aldy reached his hand toward the screen.
“Look, I never thought I'd do it, never thought I'd do it, never thought I'd do it. Oh gosh, what ever happened to me, ever happened to me, ever happened to me? Why did I pull the trigger, pull the trigger, pull the trigger, boom. And end a brother, end a brother’s life so soon? When mi pull the trigger, pull the trigger, pull it pon you. Somebody tell me what I'm gonna, what I'm gonna do. Rum bum bum bum, rum bum bum bum, rum bum bum bum, mi say wah man down, a wah mi say. Rum bum bum bum, rum bum bum bum, rum bum bum bum, when mi went downtown. ‘Cause now I am a criminal, criminal, criminal. Oh lord, a mercy, now I am a criminal. Man Down. Tell the judge please gimme minimal. Run out of town, none of them can see me now. Oh mama, mama, mama, I just shot a man down. In central station, in front of a big ol' crowd. Oh, why? Oh, why? Oh mama, mama, mama, I just shot a man down. In central station.”
As Aldy finished the song, a gunshot sounded. All of the girls jumped and screamed as a bright light flashed onstage and Aldy fell to the ground. Aldy jumped back up and took his bow as the curtain closed.
“I totally wanted to do that song soon,” Evan said to himself. “Now I can’t follow that up. Thanks a lot, Aldy.”
Lynsay waited outside as Taylor and Lana approached her. Lynsay raised her eyebrows.
“What’s going on?” Lynsay asked.
“Taylor and I have traded places for a school project,” Lana said. “So that means that you will spending the day with Lana today.”
Taylor stepped forward. “You ready, Cuz?”
“Is this some kind of joke?” Lynsay asked, looking at both of them.
“Nope,” Lana said. “Quite a few other students are doing it, in case you noticed. You wanted a day with your cousin, Lana. Well, that’s what you got.”
“This is stupid,” Lynsay said. “What is this really about?”
“I told you,” Lana said. “We all swapped places.”
Jaxon walked over to join Lana, loudly smacking his chewing gum. He put his arm around Lana.
“Ready to go, Taylor?” Jaxon asked, winking at Lynsay.
Lana smiled. “Of course, Miles. See you Lana and Lynsay. You guys have fun.”
Lynsay stared at Jaxon, lost in his eyes. He was so gorgeous, so hot, and all she wanted was one night to prove she could turn him straight.
“We sure will,” Taylor said.
Hallie sat quietly on her bed. The last few weeks had been so lonely for her. She had barely heard from Lana, much less spent time with her outside of school. She blamed Lynsay, mostly. Since she and Lana’s aunt came to town, it meant more family time with Callie and Lana, which of course, she was banned from.
Hallie sighed as she looked at the jacket that Lana had left over there the other night. Lana stopped by to bring her a smoothie and had left it on her dresser. She had been meaning to return it to her, but kept forgetting. She walked over and picked the jacket up and began to shove it in her backpack so she’d remember, but when she saw the piece of paper sticking up from the pocket, she stopped.
No, I can’t do it, Hallie thought. That would be invading her privacy and it would be wrong. But, what if this piece of paper was something she needed? She could be looking all over for whatever this paper was, not knowing where it was. It may be wrong, but it could be important. I’d just have to take the risk that she might be mad at me.
Hallie pulled the piece of paper out, quickly realizing that it was a folded up napkin. She started to throw it away, but thought for a second. If this was trash, why was it shoved in her pocket and why wasn’t it wadded up? Hallie sighed as she unfolded it.
Her heart broke at the name and number written on the napkin. Richie, a boy’s name. And he had dotted the ‘I’ with a heart.
Lynsay took a bite of her gelato, which was chocolate flavored with a hint of red pepper. From beside her, Taylor cleared her throat.
“What brings you to Lima?” Taylor asked.
“My mom moved here after she got a phone call from Callie. No one will tell me what the call was about, but my mom rushed up here immediately.”
“That so?” Taylor asked. “Did you have a lot of friends back home?”
“A few,” Lynsay said. “People kinda avoided me because my mom went a little crazy for a while there after my dad died. He was a cop and killed in the line of duty. Mom has never been the same since.”
“So, that’s why you’re trying to steal Lana’s friends, right?” Taylor asked.
“No, I’m not,” Lynsay said.
“Drop the bullcrap,” Taylor said. “You’re trying way too hard to one up her, look better than her, be liked more than her, and it’s obvious you’re trying to steal her friends away. I may be blonde, but I’m not dumb.”
“I just wanna be liked,” Lynsay said.
“You’re doing it all wrong, sweetie,” Taylor said, making sure the ‘sweetie’ sounded extra belittling. “You come off as fake, people think you’re a pathological liar, and you’re nickname is Weasel. You gotta stop hanging around with Lana’s friends and find some of your own. Frankly, what you’re doing is annoying.”
“But her friends like me,” Lynsay said.
“They like you because you pretend to be a better version of her, but you’re not. You’re a bigger fake than Milli Vanilli. And you know what happened to them? They crashed and burned and they’re the single biggest joke in the music industry to this day. I don’t like you at all and I suggest that you leave Lana and her friends, me included, alone or I will expose you for the fraud you are. Deal?”
Lynsay nodded. “Yeah, of course. I didn’t mean to come off as a wannabe.”
“I believe the word I used was fraud,” Taylor said, flashing a patronizing smile. She took her gelato cone and put it on top of Lynsay’s head, pressing it down to make sure it stuck. The champagne flavored gelato began to drip and run down Lynsay’s face as Taylor walked off.
Taylor walked into the choir room the next day and made her way over to Lana. Lana looked up at Taylor.
“Look, no need to thank me,” Taylor said. “Well, other than our prearranged deal—but the weasel shouldn’t be bothering you anymore. I put the little vermin in her place last night.”
“Great,” Lana said. “Thanks again, Taylor.”
Taylor smiled. “Don’t mention it. Being mean is what I do.”
Jaxon looked at Lana. “I hope she wasn’t too mean. Lynsay may be an annoying person, but she means well.”
“She doesn’t mean well,” Lana said. “That’s the issue.”
“Alright,” Will said. “Jaxon is gonna come up here and perform a little song for us. Jaxon?”
Miles nodded as he got up and walked to the front of the classroom. “Um, my first thought upon swapping with Jaxon was, ‘what would Jaxon do?’ And then, after thinking about it, it was clear. Jaxon would do Adam Lambert and he’d do the hell out of it. So, here goes nothing.”
“Why do I suddenly find myself wanting a WWJD bracelet?” Sue asked. “Note to self. Buy some WWJD bracelets, preferably made from barbed wire.”
“I was hoping that my wonderful fiancé and my future sister-in-law would come up and help me with my performance.”
Kevin and Ana stood up and walked to the front of the choir room.
“I hope that I finally outshine my sister,” Ana said sweetly.
Honey stifled a laugh from beside Natasha.
“Oh-oh-oh,” Miles sang. “Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh-oh-oh. Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lose control, collision course with you, my love. Call 9-1-1.”
Miles took Kevin’s hand and began to dance with him.
“So r-o-oll the dice, get lu-u-cky tonight. I know you're holding back, no more hesitation. Just come on, I want your naked love, so don't you dress it up toni-i-ight. Come on, you know your naked love is what I'm dreaming of toni-i-ight. Oh-oh-oh. Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh-oh-oh. Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah.”
Miles let Kevin go and took Ana’s hand and began to dance with her.
“Take it off and try me on. The hottest threads you've ever worn. So ro-o-oll the dice. get lu-u-cky tonight. I know you're holdin' back, no more hesitation. Just come on, I want your naked love, so don't you dress it up toni-i-ight. Come on, you know your naked love is what I'm dreaming of toni-i-ight. Oh-oh-oh. Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh-oh-oh. Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah.”
Miles and Ana broke apart and the three of them began to dance together in a perfectly synchronized dance routine.
“Just come on, I want your naked love, so don't you dress it up toni-i-ight. Come on, you know your naked love is what I'm dreaming of toni-i-ight. Oh-oh-oh. Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh-oh-oh. Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah.”
As the song ended, Miles tried to catch his breath. “I don’t know how Jaxon does it.”
“Great job Jaxon, Honey, and James,” Will said, applauding.
The next day, New Directions sat together in the lunchroom. Beside Jaxon and Lana, Chuck sat his tray down and immediately began to fish something out of his backpack. No one was surprised that it was strawberry-grape applesauce. Two small packs of it, to be exact.
“Applesauce,” Chuck said.
“I think you’re forgetting the point of the assignment,” Lana said. “It’s to be someone else and in your case, that’s Claude.”
“Applesauce is universal. Everyone loves it.”
“Not me,” Aldy said.
“Take that back,” Chuck said. “I don’t know you anymore, Evan. We’re breaking up!”
“Over applesauce? I mean, really?” Aldy asked.
“It’s not just applesauce,” Chuck said. “It’s a lifestyle choice and you sir, mock it.”
“Can I sit here?” Taylor asked as she approached Lana, tray in hand.
“Why would you wanna sit with me?” Lana asked.
“This assignment has made me do a lot of thinking, Addison,” Taylor said. “This whole immature thing with me hating you and vice versa, it’s stupid. I don’t even know where it began.”
“I think it was right before Jaxon got stabbed,” Lana replied. “You tried to get in my way when I paid a visit to Hallie’s rapist. Then, you tried to put all the blame off on James for Jaxon getting stabbed. Yep, I believe that was it.”
“That was me musing rhetorically,” Taylor said. “But anyway, I just want to end this feud. I realize that your life is no cakewalk and people like me just make it worse. Truce?”
Lana thought for a second. “You have a point, Taylor. Sit your tray down and we’ll shake on it.”
Taylor smiled as she sat her tray down. She reached out to shake Lana’s hand, but was interrupted.
“Hey, guys,” Lynsay said.
“Oh my god!” Taylor said. “Can’t you take a hint? Surely no one can be that daft.”
“Daft Punk?” Kevin asked. Miles reached over and smacked him out of reflex.
“That’s domestic violence,” Natasha joked. “Hitting your fiancé like that, Jaxon.”
Nicole looked very uncomfortable. She grabbed her tray and jumped to her feet. “I have to go.”
Everyone looked at Nicole in confusion as she walked over toward the trashcans to dump her tray. Without missing a beat, Adam got up and went after her.
“What’s wrong with Nicole?” Honey asked.
“I’m sure it’s just something personal,” Lana said, watching as Adam walked Nicole out into the hallway.
“Mind if I sit here?” Lynsay asked.
“Yes, we do,” Taylor said. “So eat somewhere else, Weasel.”
“Taylor,” Lana said.
Lynsay looked upset as her hands began to tremble, her tray shaking. “Oh, okay.”
As Lynsay started off toward another table, Jaxon got up and followed after her. Her touched her shoulder, causing her to turn around.
“Um, Taylor’s just Taylor,” Jaxon said. “Don’t let her get you down. I’ll sit with you, if you want.”
“You should sit with your friends,” Lynsay said. “I can sit over here, alone.”
Jaxon shook his head. “My friends have plenty of people to sit with. I’m not gonna let you sit here alone, okay?”
Lynsay smiled. “You’d do that for me?”
Jaxon nodded. “Sure, why not?”
Taylor felt bad about lunch as she walked down the hall. She had come so far this week, made so much progress and in one moment, she was the same ole Taylor Atkinson. She sighed.
“Stupid, Taylor. You’re so stupid,” she said to herself.
Oh God, Taylor thought. I have a conscience! Make it go away! And I’ve been terrible! God, makes these feelings stop!
Taylor stared blankly ahead as she exhaled sharply.
“I watched the proverbial sunrise coming up over the Pacific,” Taylor sang. “And you might think I'm losing my mind, but I will shy away from the specifics. ‘Cause I don't want you to know where I am, ‘cause then you'll see my heart in the saddest state it's ever been. This is no place to try and live my life. Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it. See that line? Well I never should have crossed it. Stop right there. Well I never should have said that, it's the very moment that I wish that I could take back.”
Taylor turned around and found herself standing in the choir room. She looked into the faces of her peers, singing from her heart.
“I'm sorry for the person I became. I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change. I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again. ‘Cause who I am hates who I've been, who I am hates who I've been. I talk to absolutely no one. Couldn't keep to myself enough and the things bottled inside have finally begun to create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up. I heard the reverberating footsteps synching up to the beating of my heart. And I was positive that unless I got myself together, I would watch me fall apart.”
Taylor’s eyes met with Lana’s and for a fleeting moment, they shared a look of mutual understanding.
“And I can't let that happen again ‘cause then you'll see my heart in the saddest state it's ever been. This is no place to try and live my life. Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it. See that line? Well I never should have crossed it. Stop right there. Well I never should have said that, it's the very moment that I wish that I could take back. I'm sorry for the person I became. I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change. I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again. ‘Cause who I am hates who I've been, who I am hates who I've been. Who I am hates who I've been and who I am will take the second chance you gave me. Who I am hates who I've been ‘cause who I've been only ever made me.”
Taylor reached up and shakily wiped a tear from her cheek as she continued to sing.
“So sorry for the person I became. So sorry that it took so long for me to change. I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again ‘Cause who I am hates who I've been, who I am hates who I've been.”
Lana stood up and walked toward Taylor. She smiled warmly as she grabbed Taylor and pulled her into a hug. Taylor collapsed onto Lana’s shoulder, crying. It didn’t take long until New Directions all joined in, turning it into a group hug and Will looked on, smiling.
Sue pointed down her throat, making gagging noises.
New Directions stood onstage in the April Rhodes Civic Pavilion. The boys all wore khaki pants or shorts, and white shirts. The girls wore white shirts and khakis or white, knee length dresses.
“I wish could tie you up in my shoes,” Bella sang as she stepped forward, holding hands with Honey. “Make you feel unpretty too. I was told I was beautiful but what does that mean to you? Look into the mirror, who's inside there? The one with the long hair. Same old me again today, yeah.”
“My outsides look cool, my insides are blue,” Miles sang as he stood beside Jaxon, is hands around Taylor’s waist. “Every time I think I'm through, it's because of you. I've tried different ways, but it's all the same. At the end of the day, I have myself to blame. I'm just tripping.”
“You can buy your hair if it won't grow,” New Directions sang. “You can fix your nose if he says so. You can buy all the make-up that M.A.C. can make. But if you can't look inside you, find out who am I to be in the position to make me feel so damn unpretty.”
“I'll make you feel unpretty, too,”Lana sang as she leaned over on Hallie, who had her arm around James.
“Never insecure until I met you, now I'm being stupid,” Adam sang as Ana and Natasha wrapped their arms around him. “I used to be so cute to me, just a little bit skinny. Why do I look to all these things to keep you happy? Maybe get rid of you and then I'll get back to me, hey.”
“My outsides look cool, my insides are blue,” Nicole sang as she took Evan’s hand and leaned into her friend. “Every time I think I'm through, it's because of you. I've tried different ways, but it's all the same. At the end of the day I have myself to blame. I'm just tripping.”
“You can buy your hair if it won't grow,” New Directions sang. “You can fix your nose if he says so. You can buy all the make-up that M.A.C. can make. But if you can't look inside you, find out who am I to be in the position to make me feel so damn unpretty.”
“I'll make you feel unpretty, too,” Lana sang. “Make you feel unpretty.”
“Oh-oh, oh oh-oh,” Chuck and Nataha sang. “Oh-oh, oh oh-oh, oh. “Oh-oh, oh oh-oh. Oh-oh, oh oh-oh, oh.”
“You can buy your hair if it won't grow,” New Directions sang. “You can fix your nose if he says so. You can buy all the make-up that M.A.C. can make. But if you can't look inside you, find out who am I to be in the position to make me feel so damn unpretty. You can buy your hair if it won't grow. You can buy all the make-up that M.A.C. can make. But if you can't look inside you, be in the position to make me feel so.”
“I still don’t get the purpose of this song, Mr. Schue,” Evan said.
“I think I do,” Adam said. “That we’re spending so much time blaming other people for our problems and our issues with ourselves and even though our reluctance to see where each other is coming from is making us be tougher on ourselves, in the end it all comes down to us. Right, Mr. Schue?”
Will smiled. “Couldn’t have said it better myself, Adam. That’s exactly my point, guys. That song talks about how you can listen to what everyone else says about you, but it’s what you think about yourself that matters the most. The song can be applied not just to looks, but the things you go through on a day-to-day basis. Alright, Glee Club is dismissed. See you guys tomorrow.”
Everyone filed out of the auditorium except Jaxon and Kevin. Jaxon grabbed his guitar and began to strum a song. It was the first one that came to mind after the lesson.
“I'm not afraid of anything,” Jaxon sang. “I just need to know that I can breathe. I don't need much of anything, but suddenly, suddenly.”
“I am small and the world is big,” Kevin sang as he walked forward to join Jaxon, who smiled at him. “All around me is fast moving. Surrounded by so many things, but suddenly, suddenly.”
“How does it feel, to be different from me?” Jaxon and Kevin sang. “Are we the same? How does it feel, to be different from me? Are we the same? How does it feel?”
“I'm young, and I am free,” Jaxon sang. “But I get tired, and I get weak.”
“I get lost, and I can't sleep,” Kevin sang. “But suddenly, suddenly.”
“How does it feel, to be different from me?” Jaxon and Kevin sang. “Are we the same? How does it feel, to be different from me? Are we the same? How does it feel?”
“Would you comfort me?”Jaxon sang.
“Would you cry with me?”Kevin sang.
“Ahh, ahh, ahh-ah, ahh, ahh-ah, ahh, ahh-ah, ahh, ahh-ah,” they both sang. “Ahh, ahh, ahh-ah, ahh, ahh-ah, ahh, ahh-ah, ahh, ahh-ah.”
“I am small and the world is big,”Kevin sang.
“But I'm not afraid of anything,” Jaxon sang.
“How does it feel, to be different from me?” Jaxon and Kevin sang. “Are we the same? How does it feel, to be different from me? Are we the same? How does it feel? How does it feel, to be different from me? Are we the same? How does it feel, to be different from me? Are we the same? How does it feel? Ahh, ahh, ahh-ah. ahh-ah, ahh-ah. Ahh, ahh, ahh-ah, ahh-ah, ahh-ah. How does it feel, how does it feel? You’re different from me, different. How does it feel, how does it feel? You’re different from me, different. How does it feel, how does it feel? You’re different from me, different. How does it feel, how does it feel? You’re different from me.”
As the song came to an end, Lynsay stood near the back. She watched Jaxon, enthralled for a moment before walking out the door.
“I was just jamming, practicing for my audition later on in the school year,” Jaxon said.
“You’re do great,” Kevin said. “I’ve always been jealous of you. This week really made me see that, stepping into James’ shoes. I’ll never be as good as you, Jaxon.”
Jaxon smiled. “You’re great, Kevin. Never doubt yourself. If you want that solo at Sectionals next week, confidence is key.”
Kevin smiled as he nodded. “Noted. Thanks, Jaxon.”
“No problem,” Jaxon said with a smile as he bumped knuckles with Kevin.
Jaxon walked down the hall, his hands in his letterman jacket. He heard his text alert and he reached into his pants pocket and took out his iPhone. He looked at the text, shocked at what it said. He looked away, then back at the screen, hoping he had misread it. He didn’t.
I love you, Jaxon.
Yours always, Lynsay. ♥
“Oh, crap,” Jaxon said, nearly dropping his phone.