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It's Britney, Bitch
Season 2, Episode 3
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Glee: TNG Season 2, Episode #3: It's Britney, B***h!Edit

So here’s what you missed on Glee: The Next Generation:

New girl Lana is stirring things up. She’s crushing hard on Hallie, formed an uneasy alliance with Bella to take out India, and joined Sue’s new rival show choir. Also stirring things up is Aldy, a seemingly troubled, mysterious boy who just started at McKinley. Speaking of troubled boys, John committed suicide, leaving a dark void in New Directions. Hallie, Miles, and Will have all been racked with guilt ever since then. Meanwhile, dealing with tragedy made Evan and Lucas face their feelings about one another. Dillon, lead singer for the Dalton Academy Warblers feels torn between his love for Nicole and his loyalty to his team.

And that’s what you missed on Glee!

____________________________________________________________

Jaxon stepped up onto the stage, the roar of the crowd deafening. He faced the giant light screen behind him, his name up in lights. He slowly turned to the crowd, which was filled with hundreds of thousands of screaming fans.

This is it, Jaxon. You’ve made it. You’re a star.

Jaxon stepped forward, into the lights. He was dressed in a circus ringleader costume. Off to the sides, were flaming hoops; high above him, tightrope walkers. He swallowed the lump in his throat as the music began.

“There's only two types of people in the world,” Jaxon sang, adjusting his headset mic. “The ones that entertain and the ones that observe. Well baby, I'm a put-on-a-show kind of boy. Don't like the backseat, gotta be first. I'm like the ringleader, I call the shots. I'm like a firecracker I make it hot when I put on a show. I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins Spotlight on me and I'm ready to break. I'm like a performer, the dance floor is my stage. Better be ready, hope that you feel the same.”

Jaxon stepped forward as he was surrounded by dancers, dressed in various circus-style costumes. Jaxon gave the crowd a half smile.

“All eyes on me in the center of the ring just like a circus. When I crack that whip, everybody gonna trip just like a circus. Don't stand there watching me, follow me, show me what you can do. Everybody let go, we can make a dance floor just like a circus. There's only two types of guys out there. Ones that can hang with me and ones that are scared. So baby, I hope that you came prepared I run a tight ship so beware. I'm a like the ringleader, I call the shots. I'm like a firecracker I make it hot when I put on a show. I feel the adrenaline moving through my veins Spotlight on me and I'm ready to break. I'm like a performer, the dance floor is my stage. Better be ready, hope that you feel the same.”

Jaxon braced himself as the platform he and his dancers were standing on began to raise into the air. It finally came to a stop, fifteen or twenty feet in the air.

“All eyes on me in the center of the ring just like a circus. When I crack that whip, everybody gonna trip just like a circus. Don't stand there watching me, follow me, show me what you can do. Everybody let go, we can make a dance floor just like a circus. Let's go. Let me see what you can do. I'm runnin' this like-like-like a circus. Yeah, like a what? Like-like-like a circus. All eyes on me in the center of the ring just like a circus. When I crack that whip, everybody gonna trip just like a circus. Don't stand there watching me, follow me, show me what you can do. Everybody let go, we can make a dance floor just like a circus. All eyes on me in the center of the ring just like a circus. When I crack that whip, everybody gonna trip just like a circus. Don't stand there watching me, follow me, show me what you can do. Everybody let go, we can make a dance floor just like a circus.”

The crowd went crazy, jumping out of their seats to applaud as Jaxon’s name blinked in fifty foot tall letters behind him.

“Jaxon!” The crowd chanted.

Jaxon smiled, waving to the crowd.

“Jaxon!”

Jaxon was awakened by a the two hands shaking him awake. Jaxon rubbed his eyes sleepily and looked up at Declan.

“Jaxon, did you know you sleep dance?” Declan asked. “Now get up, we’ve got school.”

"Six-thirty on a Monday morning,” Jaxon said. “I do not want to be up. I just wanna sleep in.”

“Yeah, well tough luck,” Declan said as he exited the room.

Jaxon groaned loudly as he slowly climbed out of bed and walked to his closet to get dressed.

____________________________________________________________

Jaxon probably ran down the stairs and into the kitchen. His dad, taken aback by Jaxon’s rushed entrance, looked up from his paper.

“Where’s the fire, kiddo?” Jimmy asked.

“Nowhere,” Jaxon said, grabbing a piece of French toast and a glass of orange juice.

“That isn’t gonna fill you up,” Kathy said. “You’re a growing boy.”

“I’ll get something else when I get to school, Mom,” Jaxon said as he practically shoved the whole piece of French toast in his mouth.

“He’s not a teenager,” Jimmy said. “He’s a vacuum cleaner.”

Jaxon gulped down the entire glass of orange juice as he grabbed his books. “It’s really nice today. I think I’m gonna walk to school.”

“Okay, just be careful, Jaxon,” Kathy said.

Jaxon gave his mother a kiss on the cheek. “Bye. I love you.”

“Love you too, son.”

James gave his dad a hug. “Love you too, Dad.”

____________________________________________________________

Sue stood sat at her desk, surveying three students as they stood before her. She took her glasses off and sat them gently on the desk.

“Well, if this isn’t a motley crew,” Sue said. “We have Lana, Justin Bieber, and a ginger.”

Lana, Adam, and Natasha stood there, confused.

“That’s offensive,” Adam said.

“Yeah, it is,” Natasha said.

“No one cares what you think,” Sue said. “Everyone knows gingers don’t have souls. It’s a proven scientific fact.”

“Proven by who?” Adam asked.

“Come out of the closet, Bieber,” Sue said. “I need to stash my Christmas presents and you’re taking up all the room.”

“You are really mean,” Natasha said. “Why should we even still be in your show choir after you talked to us like that?”

“It’s like this, lady. Will Schuester’s Glee Club is pretty full. He’s always had a problem with letting his students share the spotlight. You’d never get a chance to shine in New Directions. But you will here. Sue Sylvester will make you all stars.”

“And if we help you take out Mr. Schue, that’s even better for you, huh?” Lana asked, her arms crossed. “I agreed to help you but I didn’t agree to this ridicule.”

“It’s called tough love, Joan Jett. I’m conditioning you to be winners. You think the music business is easy? You think the real world is easy? No, it’s not. It will chew you up and spit you out. And while Will’s New Directions will not survive that, you all will because I made your skin tough. I made you grow backbones.”

“Fair enough,” Adam said. “But lighten up a bit on the Justin Bieber jokes.”

“Deal,” Sue said.

____________________________________________________________

Will took a seat beside Emma and across from Coach Beiste as always, opening his salad and preparing to eat.

“Good luck preparing for Sectionals,” Sue said to Will as she walked in. “I was brainstorming names for my Glee Club and I came across the perfect one. Then I realized that the name had ties to one, Britney Spears. I know I used to oppose Britney Spears but I honor her courage and strength in the face of adversity circa 2007. That’s something I really wanted to teach my Glee Club. So, we’re doing Britney Spears. Yes, William, I know. Go on and let that butt chin of yours fall to the floor.”

“I have to say, Sue, that I’m shocked,” Will replied.

“Well what I came here to talk to you about, is maybe we could have a friendly skirmish,” Sue said. “A little Britney-off between our clubs.”

Will raised his eyebrow. “You think you’re ready to go head-to-head with New Directions? We’ve got a lot more experience.”

“Experience can’t compare to sheer talent,” Sue said.

“We’ll see,” Will said. “You’re on. Starting this afternoon, it’s New Directions verses the uh, what is your choir called?”

“The Femme Fatales,” Sue replied. “Dangerous, focused, fierce, and fatal.”

“But what about Adam Gray?” Will asked. “Isn’t he in your choir, still?”

“Of course William, but that boy’s just as femme as any of the other members. Hell, Lana’s got more cajónes than he does. His sexuality is a bigger mystery than what happened to Amelia Earhart.”

Will’s eyes widened. “Okay then. Show me what you got this afternoon.”

“I’ll be there with bells on, William,” Sue said.

____________________________________________________________


Jaxon and Evan shut the door behind them as they walked into the choir room. They eagerly took their seats as Will walked to the front of the class.

“Our honor has been challenged,” Will said. “Sue has challenged us to a skirmish. The music of choice Britney Spears.”

“Yes!” Rose exclaimed. “I love Britney Spears.”

“Britney Spears is a legend,” Jaxon said. “She’s one of my idols.”

“Well, this club has had quite a past concerning her, but I think things could be different this time. So, your assignment this week, come up with a Britney Spears number. The best one, we’ll perform for Sue the song we choose.”

“When do we start?” Breezy asked

“First, we have to meet Sue for her Glee Club’s number this afternoon. Now, I know Sue and she’s gonna bring it hard so we have to bring it harder.”

“Or at least better,” Bella said.

“This is my dream assignment,” India said. “I love Britney Spears.”

____________________________________________________________

Will and New Directions sat in the front two rows of the April Rhodes Civic Pavilion as Sue stood on stage, the curtains drawn behind her.

“Welcome ladies, lady boys, and butt chins,” Sue said. “You are about to witness to the debut performance of The Femme Fatales. After it’s over, feel free to forfeit Sectionals and save yourself the embarrassment of losing.”

“We don’t plan to lose, Sue,” Will said. “Now let’s get this over with.”

“Fine then, William,” Sue said, walking off the stage.

The curtains opened as the music began; Lana, Natasha, and Adam stood center stage, dressed in all leather jackets, shirts, pants, and boots. Lana stepped forward into the spotlight.

“Will you turn me up?” Lana said. “Yeah!”

Natasha and Adam fell into position beside Lana, dancing to the rhythm, almost gliding. They turned and put their hands on Lana.

“This is the making of another cold, rude awakening,” Lana sang. “It's been too long anticipating. Hurry up for my demonstration. So give undivided attention.”

“Okay, light speed,”Lana and Natasha sang. “Turbo, to get to me. Don't play, joke around. One shot, you're killing me.”

Natasha and Adam ran their hands down Lana’s arms and then her legs before they began to dance.

“Don't keep me waiting,” the Femme Fatales sang. “Don't keep me waiting. My body's waiting. Don't keep me waiting. I'm going crazy, got me waiting, come and take it from me. I'm going crazy, got me waiting, come and take it from me. I'm going crazy, got me waiting, come and take it from me. I'm going crazy, got me waiting, come and take it from me.”

“The time is ticking,” Natasha sang. “The train is boarding, you might miss it. Follow directions, damn it, listen. Before my body's in remission. So come to your destination.”

“Okay, light speed,”Lana and Natasha sang. “Turbo, to get to me. Don't play, joke around. One shot, you're killing me.”

Lana mimed a kiss to both Natasha and Adam as she moved into position for the chorus.

“Don't keep me waiting,” the Femme Fatales sang. “Don't keep me waiting. My body's waiting. Don't keep me waiting. I'm going crazy, got me waiting, come and take it from me. I'm going crazy, got me waiting, come and take it from me. I'm going crazy, got me waiting, come and take it from me. I'm going crazy, got me waiting, come and take it from me.”

“What the hell? I'm standin- wha- what the hell?” Adam sang. “Stan- standing outside, I'm standing outside. Wha- wha- what- wha- wha-what the hell! I'm standing outside, colder than the freezer. Come out and melt my ice. I'm running out of time. You're changing my demeanor. So get me to your ride before I change my mind. Don't apologize.”

“Don't keep me waiting,”the Femme Fatales sang. “Hey, hey, hey, hey! Don't keep me waiting. Hey, hey, hey, hey! My body's waiting. Hey, hey, hey, hey! Don't keep me waiting. Hey, hey, hey, hey! Don't keep me waiting. Don't keep me waiting. My body's waiting. Don't keep me waiting. I'm going crazy, got me waiting, come and take it from me. I'm going crazy, got me waiting, come and take it from me. I'm going crazy, got me waiting, come and take it from me. I'm going crazy, got me waiting, come and take it from me.”

Will and New Directions sat there, their mouths hanging open.

“My God, they’re amazing,” Breezy said.

“We’re doomed,” Nicole said.

“That’s not the attitude to have getting ready to go into Sectionals,” Will said.

“Face it,” Sue said from the side of the auditorium. “You’re scared, William. I could see that Jell-O mold that you call a hairdo quivering with fear.”

____________________________________________________________

Lucas stopped at Evan’s locker, smiling as he leaned up against the adjacent locker.

“You kissed me,” Lucas said.

“I don’t recall you trying to fight me off,” Evan said, a slight smiling forming on his face.

“So we just kiss and we’re gonna act like it never happened. You had to have a reason to kiss me, Evan.”

Evan shrugged. “I told you."

“Yeah, you told me and then we spent two days not talking to one another. Yes, it was unexpected, and yes it was awkward. But it felt so right, Evan. We can’t deny that chemistry.”

“You think we have chemistry?” Evan asked.

“Yes I do, and so do you. You can’t deny it, Evan.”

“It was just a kiss.”

“When is a kiss ‘just a kiss?’ It always means something more,” Lucas said.

“Then kiss me again and we’ll see what it means,” Evan said, smiling.

“Why do I get the feeling you’re toying with me?” Lucas asked, smiling.

“Come on, kiss me,” Evan said.

Lucas sighed. “Right here?”

“Of course. Kiss me, Casanova.”

Lucas leaned in and pressed his lips to Evan’s. He stayed there for a moment and pulled away, a large smile on his face.

“Fireworks,” Lucas said.

“By the way,” Evan said as he started to walk off. “I was playing hard to get.”

“Did I get you?” Lucas asked.

Evan smiled and winked at Lucas, turning around and walking away.

____________________________________________________________

Miles walked slowly toward India, sighing a deep breath as he closed in on her.

“Hey, Miles,” India said. “Carry my books?”

“I’m not your own personal bellhop,” Miles said.

“Fine then,” India said. “I’ll carry them. What’s gotten into you?”

“You’re not the same since you came back from London, India. I can tell. You treat me like we’re just friends, not boyfriend and girlfriend. You’re so distant with me. I just feel like maybe you wanna move on.”

“Don’t be silly, Miles.”

“I’m not being silly! India, what happened between us? We used to be so hot and heavy last year. Now you give me the cold shoulder.”

“Things change, Miles. It doesn’t mean that I don’t love you anymore.”

“Then what does it mean? Because I am so lost and confused.”

Breezy stood back watching Miles and India arguing.

I know exactly how Miles feels, Breezy thought. I felt like I was in the same position right before Evan and I broke up. I won’t say ‘dumped.’ Afterall, we both agreed it was mutual and amicable.

Truth is, Miles can be a nice guy. And, of course, he’s really good looking. He’s the type who needs someone to shower with affection. And that would be me. I knew about his reputation with the ladies. All the girls regarded him as thief, stealing their heart only to break it.

So what, I was in love with a criminal. Yes, that’s right. I started having feelings for Miles. I guess it happened when we were in London. Hard as I try, I can’t get him off my mind.

Breezy watched Miles and India, arguing as she sang.

“He is a hustler, he's no good at all,”Breezy sang. “He is a loser, he's a bum, bum, bum, bum. He lies, he fluffs he's unreliable. He is a sucker with a gun, gun, gun, gun. I know you told me I should stay away. I know you said he's just a dog astray. He is a bad boy with a tainted heart and even I know this ain't smart. But mama, I'm in love with a criminal and this type of love isn't rational, it's physical. Mama, please don't cry, I will be alright. All reason aside, I just can't deny, love the guy. He is a villain of the devil's law. He is a killer just for fun, fun, fun, fun. That mans a snitch and unpredictable. He's got no conscience, he got none, none, none, none. All I know, should let go but no. ‘Cause he's a bad boy with a tainted heart and even I know this ain't smart.”

Breezy closed her eyes and in her mind, she was in the choir room, singing to her peers.

“But mama, I'm in love with a criminal and this type of love isn't rational, it's physical. Mama, please don't cry, I will be alright. All reason aside, I just can't deny, love the guy. And he's got my name tattooed on his arm, his lucky charm, so I guess it’s okay. He's with me. And I hear people talk, people talk, trying to make remarks, keep us apart. But I don't even hear; I don't care. But mama, I'm in love with a criminal and this type of love isn't rational, it's physical. Mama, please don't cry, I will be alright. All reason aside, I just can't deny, love the guy. But mama, I'm in love with a criminal and this type of love isn't rational, it's physical. Mama, please don't cry, I will be alright. All reason aside, I just can't deny, love the guy.”

Breezy opened her eyes and was transported back to reality, standing in the hall, hugging a corner and watching Miles and India.

“If that’s how you feel, maybe we should break up,” India said.

“Then maybe we should,” Miles said.

India slammed her locker and stormed off, the click of her heels echoing as she left Miles behind. Breezy sighed, turned around, and walked off.

“You deserve so much better than that bitch,” Lana said as she walked towards Miles. “She’s clear that she doesn’t really love you.”

“She did,” Miles said. “Last year. But I guess what we had is in the past.”

“Perhaps it’s best. She’d only drag you down.”

Miles smiled as he hugged Lana. “You always know all the right things to say.”

Lana smiled. “I have my Super Lana costume on under all this leather. But don’t tell anyone my secret identity.”

Miles laughed. “Your secret is safe with me. I’ve got to go. Catch you tomorrow? Maybe watch me practice for football? I’m the QB this year. I tried for it so hard last year and came up short. With John gone, Kevin’s going to half-back.”

Lana nodded. “I’ll be there, Miles.”

“Cool, Miles said as he left. Lana took a seat on one of the hall benches.

Lana looked up as Hallie started down the hallway, wearing her Cheerios uniform. Lana watched her, unable to process how hot she looked.

“Damn,” Lana whispered.

“Hey,” Hallie said as she saw Lana. “You guys were great.”

“Thanks. I’m surprised to see you still here,” Lana said.

“Sue asked me to stay a little later after Cheerios’ practice. I have really great news. Guess who’s the new Cheerios’ Captain? I am! There’s no co-captains this year. I’m so proud of myself!”

Lana smiled. “Congrats, Hallie.”

“I really can’t wait to tell Bella,” Hallie said, a frown forming on her face.

“Why do you look sad?” Lana asked.

“The same Bella I fell in love with comes and goes. Ever since John died, she’s kinda withdrawn. Which sucks, because I need her. I can see all the confusion creeping back into her mind and I tell myself that part of her is gone. There’s no confusion because I’m the one she loves. But then, after a while, I start to doubt it again.”

“That’s the thing about love, Hallie,” Lana said. “True love is found in someone who knows exactly who she is and what she wants. And who she wants will be you.”

Hallie took a seat on the bench beside Lana. “Honestly, do you think that person is Bella?”

“No, I don’t. And think deep inside, you know it.”

“I was reluctant,” Hallie said. “Bella’s confusion is hurtful. But love should hurt, right?”

Lana shook her head. “That’s what people say to justify pain. Truth, love is a lot of things, but it’s not hurtful.”

“Between Bella, loosing John…I just don’t know what to do.”

“Stop thinking,” Lana said. “Live in the moment.”

Lana leaned in toward Hallie, pressing her lips to hers. Hallie didn’t fight it. As soon as she realized what she did, Lana pulled away.

“I should go,” Lana said. “Bye, Hallie.”

Hallie sat on the bench in stunned silence, watching as Lana walked away.

____________________________________________________________

The next day, in the choir room, Hallie kept replaying the events in her head of the afternoon before.

Did Lana really kiss me? And did I really like it? Bella is my girlfriend and I should be thinking about her, but I can’t take my mind off Lana. The kiss, it was amazing. And even more frightening, I saw fireworks. Fireworks, and they weren’t because of Bella.

Lana was a good person, very pretty, great style. She has such charisma and charm. Those eyes could convince you to do pretty much anything. They had convinced me to kiss her and I liked it. I’ll be damned, I liked it!

“Hallie?” Will said. “The assignment you and Bella had planned that you told me about earlier?”

Damn it, I forgot. Ugh, how could I perform this song when it wasn’t Bella that was on my mind?

Hallie sighed as she got up and joined Bella at the front of the choir room.

“Lately I've been stuck imagining what I wanna do and what I really think,” Hallie sang, thinking about Lana. “Time to blow out, be a little inappropriate ‘cause I know that everybody's thinking it when the light’s out. Shame on me, to need release, uncontrollably.”

“I-I-I wanna g-o-o-o-o all the way,” Bella and Hallie sang. “Taking out my freak tonight. I-I-I wanna sho-o-o-o-ow all the dirt I got running through my mind, whoa.”

“Lately people got me all tied up,” Bella sang. “There's a countdown waiting for me to erupt. Time to blow out. I've been told who I should do it with, to keep both my hands above the blanket when the light’s out. Shame on me, to need release, uncontrollably.”

“I-I-I wanna g-o-o-o-o all the way,”Bella and Hallie sang. “Taking out my freak tonight. I-I-I wanna sho-o-o-o-ow all the dirt I got running through my mind, whoa.”

“Shame on me,”Hallie sang. “To need release, uncontrollably.”

“I-I-I wanna g-o-o-o-o all the way,”Bella and Hallie sang. “Taking out my freak tonight. I-I-I wanna sho-o-o-o-ow all the dirt I got running through my mind, whoa. I-I-I wanna g-o-o-o-o all the way. Taking out my freak tonight. I-I-I wanna sho-o-o-o-ow all the dirt I got running through my mind, whoa.”

“That was really good,” Will said. “Perhaps a little provocative. I think I’ll pass on it as our number for the end of the week. Good effort, though.”

____________________________________________________________

Jaxon couldn’t stop staring at Aldy. James took notice, and was visibly unimpressed.

“What’s so great about him? That bad boy image? Please,” James said. “He’s not all that and a bag of chips.”

“I happen to dig the bad boy look,” Jaxon said.

James rolled his eyes. “I don’t even see what’s so hot about it.”

“Wait,” Jaxon said, smiling. “Are you jealous?”

James scoffed. “No!”

Jaxon smiled even bigger. “Yes, you are. Come on, Aldy’s straight. You have nothing to worry about.”

“I never said I was worried,” James replied.

“I wish I was a rebel like that,” Jaxon said. “Aldy is so popular, but it’s like he doesn’t even care because he’s happy.”

James shook his head. “It’s not that great, Jaxon.”

____________________________________________________________

Miles sat alone in the auditorium, sitting in a rolling chair in the middle of the stage, following the instructions given to him in his secret sender’s letter. When Miles heard the click of heels, he knew exactly who it was.

“India,” he said. “I should have known.”

“I brought some friends, Miles,” India said. “Hope you don’t mind.”

“We’re here for an intervention,” Jaxon said.

“What kind of intervention?” Miles asked.

“You have a problem,” Bella said. “You’re a womanizer.”

“Okay, I get you and India being here. The angry exes. But Jaxon?” Miles asked, raising an eyebrow.

“As a friend,” Jaxon said.

“As well as me,” Hallie said.

As the music began, Jaxon stepped forward, dressed up like a nerdy office worker and walked behind Miles’ chair.

“Superstar, where you from, hows it going?” Jaxon sang, putting his hands on Miles’ shoulders. “I know you gotta clue what you're doing. You can play brand new to all the other chicks out here but I know what you are, what you are, baby.”

Jaxon gripped Miles’s shoulders as he leaned into his ear and sang.

“Look at you, gettin more than just re-up. Baby, you got all the puppets with their strings up. Faking like a good one, but I call 'em like I see 'em. I know what you are, what you are, baby.”

“Womanizer, woman, womanizer,” Bella, Jaxon, India, and Hallie sang. “You're a womanizer, oh womanizer, oh. You're a womanizer, baby. You you you are, you you you are. Womanizer, womanizer, womanizer, womanizer. Boy, don't try to front, I know just what you are. Boy, don't try to front, I know just what you are. You got me goin' you're oh so charmin'. But I can do it, womanizer. Boy, don't try to front, I know just what you are. Boy, don't try to front, I know just what you are. You say I'm crazy, I got your crazy. You're nothin' but a womanizer.”

“Daddy-O,” Bella sang, dressed as the leather clad waitress from the video. “You got the swagger of champion. Too bad for you, you just can’t find the right companion. I guess when you have one too many, makes it hard, it could be easy, who you are. That's just who you are, baby.”

Bella playfully straddled Miles as Hallie walked forward, dressed as the naughty chauffeur from the video.

Lollipop,” Hallie sang. “Must mistake me, you're a sucker. To think that I would be a victim not another. Say it, play it how you wanna but no way I'm ever gonna fall for you, never you, baby.”

“Womanizer, woman, womanizer,” Bella, Jaxon, India, and Hallie sang. “You're a womanizer, oh womanizer, oh. You're a womanizer, baby. You you you are, you you you are. Womanizer, womanizer, womanizer, womanizer. Boy, don't try to front, I know just what you are. Boy, don't try to front, I know just what you are. You got me goin' you're oh so charmin'. But I can do it, womanizer. Boy, don't try to front, I know just what you are. Boy, don't try to front, I know just what you are. You say I'm crazy, I got your crazy. You're nothin' but a womanizer.”

“Maybe if we both lived in a different world,” India sang, dressed in a night gown and silk robe.

“Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer, Womanizer,” Jaxon, Bella, and Hallie sang.

“It would be all good, and maybe I could be your girl, but I can't cause we don't,” India sang.

“Womanizer, woman, womanizer,” Bella, Jaxon, India, and Hallie sang. “You're a womanizer, oh womanizer, oh. You're a womanizer, baby. You you you are, you you you are. Womanizer, womanizer, womanizer, womanizer. Boy, don't try to front, I know just what you are. Boy, don't try to front, I know just what you are. You got me goin' you're oh so charmin'. But I can do it, womanizer. Boy, don't try to front, I know just what you are. Boy, don't try to front, I know just what you are. You say I'm crazy, I got your crazy. You're nothin' but a womanizer. Boy, don't try to front, I know just what you are. Boy, don't try to front, I know just what you are. Womanizer, woman, womanizer. You're a womanizer oh womanizer, oh. You're a womanizer, baby.”

India walked toward Miles and with a SWISH, she transformed in Britney Spears. Britney walked up to Miles and straddled his lap.

“You’re a womanizer, Miles,” Britney said, taking out a pair of handcuffs and handcuffing Miles to the chair.

“Miles!” Jaxon said, shaking him.

Miles raised his head, looking around. He had dozed off in the middle of the annual assembly to showcase the Glee Club.

“Man, Evan and India are about to perform,” Jaxon said.

“I’m just stressed,” Miles said. “This whole John thing has been rough. I haven’t gotten a full night’s sleep in a week.”

____________________________________________________________

India stepped out from behind the dressing curtain to reveal her costume to Evan. It was short, metallic, and multicolored.

“Sure to catch an eye or two,” India said as she spun around.

“Or blind an eye or two hundred,” Evan said with a laugh. "To be honest, India, it looks like a peacock partied with Kesha and then puked all over your dress."

India sighed. “Aw, come one. That’s just mean.”

“Okay, so we switched the song,” Evan said. “We’re sure to go down in McKinley High history now.”

“This is gonna be epic,” India said. “We’ll come off as rebels and I’ll catch Aldy’s eye.”

“Is that what this is about?” Evan asked.

“Of course,” India said. “But don’t you wanna be the stuff of legend at this school?”

The music began to play. India looked at Evan.

“Well, it’s too late now,” India said. “It’s now or never.”

Evan nodded, charging through the curtain and onto the stage, India behind him.

“1, 2, 3,” Evan and India sang. “If you seek Amy, got one eighty degrees and I'm caught in between. Love me, hate me, gettin' down with 3P. All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you seek Amy.”

“Oh baby baby have you seen Amy tonight?” Evan sang. “Is she in the bathroom is she smokin' up outside? Oh. Oh baby, baby, does she take a piece of lime for the drink that I'mma buy her? Do you know just what she likes? Oh, merrier the more, triple fun that way. Twister on the floor, what do you say?”

India grabbed Evan and pressed her body against his. She looked to the crowd, seeing all the boys going wild. Aldy noticed her, biting his lip and winking.

“Oh oh, tell me have you seen her?”India sang. “Living in sin is the new thing. Can somebody take me home? I am counting--”

“1, 2, 3,”Evan and India sang. “If you seek Amy, got one eighty degrees and I'm caught in between. Love me, hate me, gettin' down with 3P. All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you seek Amy.”

“What we do is innocent,”India sang. “Just for fun and nothing meant.

Evan leaned forward and pretended to kiss India, but pulled away at the last moment.

“Oh baby, baby, if you seek Amy tonight,”Evan sang.

“Oh baby, baby, we'll do whatever you like,” India sang.

“You and me, or three,” Evan sang.

“Or four, on the floor,” India sang.

“1, 2, 3,” Evan and India sang. “If you seek Amy, got one eighty degrees and I'm caught in between. Love me, hate me, gettin' down with 3P. All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you seek Amy.”

Will hung his head down in shame as the crowd jumped up and roared with excitement. All of the couples had their hands all over one another. Figgins and Sue looked around, not too happy.

____________________________________________________________

Jaxon couldn’t believe his eyes as James walked toward him. Bandana around his head, aviators, white tank top, leather jacket, studded bracelets, torn jeans, and motorcycle boots. James carried himself with an artificial sense of badass-ness.

“Oh my God,” Jaxon said. “James?”

“Am I hot?” James asked, getting close to Jaxon.

“James, this isn’t you.”

“This is what you like,” James said.

“Not it’s not,” Jaxon said. “Where are the blue eyes I love so much? Your bangs that I live for you to flip? This is not you. This isn’t the person I fell in love with.”

James frowned. “I just wanted to impress you like Aldy does.”

“Okay,” Jaxon said. “So I think Aldy is hot. I still don’t love him. I love you. I wouldn’t jeopardize that. I don’t want him, I want you.”

James took off his leather jacket and Jaxon began to laugh.

“Fake tattoos, James? Really?”

Jaxon licked his finger and used it to rub part of one of James’ fake tattoos off.

James frowned. “Yeah. I didn’t wanna get a real one.

James looked at Jaxon’s arm. “That isn’t a fake tattoo. It won’t rub off with spit.”

Jaxon pulled his arm away. “It’s nothing.”

“Oh no, it’s something.” James said. You got a tattoo!”

“Shh! Keep it down. I don’t want everyone to know. My parents don’t even know. I had to get Mr. Kenny, the janitor to pretend to be my dad so I could get it.”

“Why would you do that?” James asked.

“I wanted to be as cool as Aldy. He has a tattoo and everyone thinks it’s awesome.”

“Remember what you said to me, Jaxon. That applies to you, too. Practice what you preach.”

James turned around, disappointed, and walked away.

“Hey,” Nicole said, appearing beside Jaxon. “I just got a text from Dillon. The Warblers want us to meet them in the Courtyard.”

____________________________________________________________

The Warblers stood at the base of the steps in the courtyard as New Directions arrived at the top of steps. Dillon looked at Nicole with an apologetic face.

“Thanks for meeting us, New Directions,” Chuck said. “It’s come to our attention that Dillon’s relationship with Nicole is getting serious and some of our members have raised concern that it may get cause issues with competition.”

“So,” X said, “We’re giving you guys one chance to prove that we can give ourselves fully to this competition.”

“That’s kind of unfair,” Honey said.

“Very,” Rose said. “Why can’t you preppy boys just be happy for them?”

“I believe you’ve been challenged to a duel,” X said.

Chuck sat down a boombox and pressed play. “Piece of Me” began to play. New Directions began to march toward The Warblers.

“I'm Miss American Dream since I was 17,” Honey sang. “Don't matter if I step on the scene or sneak away to the Philippines.”

“They're still gonna put pictures of my derriere in the magazine,” Chuck sang. “You want a piece of me?”

“You want a piece of me?” Honey sang.

“I'm mister bad media karma,” X sang. “Another day another drama.”

“Guess I can't see the harm in working and being a mama,” Hallie sang. “And with a kid on my arm, I'm still an exceptional earner.”

“You want a piece of me?” X and Hallie sang.

“I'm that lifestyles of the rich and famous,”New Directions and the Warblers sang. “You want a piece of me? I'm that oh my God that person's Shameless. You want a piece of me? I'm that Extra! Extra! this just in. You want a piece of me? I'm that I’m too big now I’m too thin. You want a piece of me?”

“I'm miss ‘you want a piece of me,’ trying and pissing me off,” India sang. “Well get in line with the paparazzi who's flipping me off.”

“Hoping I'll resort to some havoc and end up settling in court,” Claude sang. “Now are you sure you want a piece of me?

“You want a piece of me?” India sang.

“I'm miss 'most likely to get on the TV for stripping on the streets,’” Rose sang. “When getting the groceries, no, for real, are you kidding me?”

“No wonder there's panic in this industry,” Dillon sang. “I mean please.”

“Do you want a piece of me?” Rose sang,

“I'm that lifestyles of the rich and famous,”New Directions and the Warblers sang. “You want a piece of me? I'm that oh my God that person's Shameless. You want a piece of me? I'm that Extra! Extra! this just in. You want a piece of me?”

“I'm Miss American Dream since I was 17,” Honey sang. “Don't matter if I step on the scene or sneak away to the Philippines.”

“They're still gonna put pictures of my derriere in the magazine,” Chuck sang. “You want a piece of me?”

“You want a piece of me?” Honey sang.

“You want a piece of me?” Chuck sang.

“You want a piece of me?” Honey sang.

“You want a piece of me?” Chuck sang.

“I'm that lifestyles of the rich and famous,”New Directions and the Warblers sang. “You want a piece of me? I'm that oh my God that person's Shameless. You want a piece of me? I'm that Extra! Extra! this just in. You want a piece of me?”

“Well played, New Directions," Chuck said. “You guys definitely held your own. And as a result, we’re gonna perform a song for Nicole.”

X glared at New Directions as the Warblers fell into formation.

“Ooh oo-oo-ooh,” The Warblers sang. “Ooh oo-oo-ooh.”

“See you all tonight smiling and talking,”Chuck sang. “We can be polite, when we know they're watching. But I want you like that. Yeah, I want you like that. Yeah, I want you. Yeah, I want you. Yeah, I want you like that.”

“Say you're just a friend, I'm a little liar,”Dillon sang. “When we play pretend body is on fire. 'Cause I like it like that. Yeah, I like it like that. Yeah, I like it. Yeah, I like it. Yeah, I like it like that.”

“Come here closer, don't be shy,”The Warblers sang. “Cross my heart and hope to die. Keep the secret me and you and seal it with a kiss. Ooooh ooooh ooooh. In the shadows where it's hot. Know the risk of getting caught. Wanna taste forbidden fruit and seal it with a kiss. Ooooh ooooh ooooh.”

“When you look at me,”Dillon sang. “There is no mistaking. Like telepathy, I know what you thinking. That you want me like that. Yeah, you want me like that. Yeah, you want me. Yeah, you want me. Yeah, you want me like that.”

“Ultraviolet light burning hot like you do,”Claude sang. “Can we synchronize? Meet me in the back room. 'Cause I like it like that. Yeah, I like it like that. Yeah, I like it. Yeah, I like it. Yeah, I like it like that.”

“Come here closer, don't be shy,”The Warblers sang. “Cross my heart and hope to die. Keep the secret me and you and seal it with a kiss. Ooooh ooooh ooooh. In the shadows where it's hot. Know the risk of getting caught. Wanna taste forbidden fruit and seal it with a kiss. Ooooh ooooh ooooh.”

“Say you're just a friend,”Dillon said. “I'm a little liar.”

“Come here closer, don't be shy,” The Warblers sang. “Cross my heart and hope to die. Keep the secret me and you and seal it with a kiss. Ooooh ooooh ooooh. In the shadows where it's hot. Know the risk of getting caught. Wanna taste forbidden fruit and seal it with a kiss. Ooooh ooooh ooooh.”

Dillon walked forward and hugged Nicole, the Warblers looking on. Claude and Chuck smiled in approval.

____________________________________________________________

Sue, the Femme Fatales, and Will sat in the auditorium as the curtain raised and New Directions stood center stage.

“Well, here it is, Sue. Our number. It was suggested by James and we’re confident in showing it to you to beat you.”

Sue smiled. “Bring it on, William.”

Rose stepped forward, dressed like Nicki Minaj, pink hair and all.

“Chimpanzee’s is hatin’ but I take it all in stride,” Rose rapped. “Put her in a jungle with bananas on the side. Told you they’d revive your career but somebody lied. I ain’t talking poultry when I say this chicken’s fried. Anyway, Britney, why they so jealous that you teamed up with me? Tell 'em they my son, yup, tell ‘em I'mma pick me.'Anyway, femme fatale, whats that? I don’t know, femme fatale. Sniff, sniff, cries, I done slayed your whole entire freaking life. Oh, you got some Epson Salt? I done balled all day you ain’t touched the court. What, what you tired, you need a break? You was hot when? Ricki Lake!”

“I notice that you got it, you notice that I want it,” Kevin sang. “Know that I can take it to the next level baby.”

“If you understood this, this is the remix,”Honey sang. “Baby let me blow your mind tonight.”

“It’s Britney, bitch! I’m Rose Mitchell and that’s New Directions!” Rose said.

“I can’t take it, take it, take no more,” New Directions sang. “Never felt like, felt like this before. C’mon get me, get me on the floor. DJ what you, what you waiting for. Woah oh oh oh oh oh oh woah oh oh oh oh oh oh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh oh woah oh oh oh oh oh oh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh oh woah oh oh oh oh oh oh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh oh woah oh oh oh oh oh oh.”

“Watch me move when I loose, when I lose it hard,” Jaxon sang. “Get you off with the touch, dancing in the dark.”

“You notice what I'm wearing,” Bella sang. “I notice that you're staring. You know that I can take it to the next level, baby.”

“Hotter than the A-list,”Miles sang. “Next one on my hit list. Baby, let me blow your mind tonight.”

“I can’t take it, take it, take no more,” New Directions sang. “Never felt like, felt like this before. C’mon get me, get me on the floor. DJ what you, what you waiting for. Woah oh oh oh oh oh oh woah oh oh oh oh oh oh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh oh woah oh oh oh oh oh oh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh oh woah oh oh oh oh oh oh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh oh woah oh oh oh oh oh oh. See the sunlight, we ain't stopping. Keep on dancing till the world ends. If you feel it let it happen. Keep on dancing till the world ends. Keep on dancing till the world ends. Keep on dancing till the world ends. Woah oh oh oh oh oh oh woah oh oh oh oh oh oh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh oh woah oh oh oh oh oh oh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh oh woah oh oh oh oh oh oh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh oh woah oh oh oh oh oh oh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh oh woah oh oh oh oh oh oh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh oh woah oh oh oh oh oh oh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh oh woah oh oh oh oh oh oh. Woah oh oh oh oh oh oh woah oh oh oh oh oh oh. See the sunlight, we ain't stopping. Keep on dancing till the world ends. If you feel it let it happen.

“Keep on dancing till the world ends,”Nicole sang.

Sue and the Femme Fatales applauded.

“Great job,” Sue said. “Now if you excuse me, I need to see my new captain in my office, William.”

India looked confused as Hallie stepped forward.

“Wait a minute,” India said. “Are you serious? Her?”

Sue nodded. “Hallie has shown the most promise. I’ve had too many problems with you, Congo. Hallie is my new head cheerleader.”

“You can’t do this to me!” India shouted.

“I can and I did,” Sue said.

“You!” India said, turning to Hallie. “You did this to me! I made you! You would be nothing without me! How dare you take it from me! I am the one who should be the captain! Not you!”

“What’s wrong with me?” Hallie asked. I worked my ass off it!”

“Drop it,” Will said. “Enough fighting!”

____________________________________________________________

India angrily shoved her books in her backpack, still pissed. She noticed the shadow behind her, but paid it barely any attention.

“Go away. I don’t feel like talking,” India said.

“Look at me, India,” Lana said.

India exhaled as she turned around. Lana let loose with a red slushie right to her face. SPLAT!

“Here, Ice Queen. Have some ice. That’s for what you said to Hallie!”

India angrily wiped her face. “You’re gonna pay for that, Addison. Wait a second! You like her! You like Hallie!”

Lana swallowed a lump in her throat. “Of course not.”

“Oh no, you do,” India said with a wicked smile. “Now it’s war.”




THE END

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